Just weighing in

This has been on my mind A LOT lately, so I feel like I have to chime in on this whole gay teen suicide/Boyd K. Packer situation. I feel this is impossible to write without offending someone, so I do ask that you keep an open mind and understand that I am so torn between two sides.

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING disgusts me more than Church members, or really anybody, who pretends to be oh so Christ-like, then turn it around and treat a group of people like they are lower than dirt. The attitudes that so many members of our church have towards gay people are quite despicable and frankly, I can't really blame the GLBT community for some of the feelings they have towards us. I've heard so many members belittle, mock, and downright be rude towards people different from them, and I'm tired of it. It's not just LDS people, I know plenty of people of other faiths who have these attitudes. And of course, it's not every member who's doing it, but enough that I'm concerned.

Let me back-track a bit. I went to the Las Vegas Academy for high school, which is one of the top-ranked schools in Nevada. It is a performing arts academy where people have to audition to get in. It also happens to have a large gay student population. I knew so many talented kids who could have easily gotten into the Academy, but their parents refused to let them go there because they would have to mingle with gay kids. They would rather send them to the most ghetto and trashed high schools where they were more likely to get in a fight or get pregnant rather then let them explore their talents alongside gay classmates (and for the record, when I was at LVA, there had been 7 fights in the ENTIRE SCHOOL HISTORY and 2 pregnant girls in the 4 years I went there).

Luckily I have open-minded parents, so I went to LVA. Of course I made several gay friends. These were my classmates, I wasn't going to shun anyone. One friend in particular, I'll call Bob. Bob grew up in a very LDS household, yet knew he was gay. Rather than trying to help Bob, his family shunned him. It is a story I have heard over and over again. Wanna hear about gay teen suicides? It's a horrific fact in the LDS community. It's really sad how often I'm told by my gay friends that I'm the one nice Mormon they know because I actually talk to them.

Once I had to make the decision to either continue dating my LDS boyfriend or keep my gay friends. This guy wasn't happy that I had gay friends so he gave me that ultimatum. Guess which one I chose. I guess I'd rather hang out with people who liked me for me and not for who my friends liked to date.

So for almost 10 years now, I have struggled with how I feel about my gay friends and what the Church teaches. I do believe in what the prophets have said. This isn't an anti-Church rant, I do believe in protecting the family. I wasn't offended by Boyd K. Packer's last General Conference talk. I knew where he was coming from and I think the media has taken it out of context (sorry). Unfortunately he gave that talk during a very sensitive time period.

But the attitudes of the members towards these peoples has got to change. Newsflash, not everyone who is gay wants to be. My buddy Bob wished with all his heart that he wasn't gay. But he had no support from his family, which turned him off from the Church and any potential help he might have gotten. We need to be more supportive and helpful to one another, not try to out-righteous each other. If people knew half of the extent of sins I've committed, I wonder if I'd get shunned too.

I think our leaders would agree with me. The Church released this statement today:

This past week we have all witnessed tragic deaths across the country as a result of bullying or intimidation of gay young men. We join our voice with others in unreserved condemnation of acts of cruelty or attempts to belittle or mock any group or individual that is different – whether those differences arise from race, religion, mental challenges, social status, sexual orientation or for any other reason. Such actions simply have no place in our society.

This Church has felt the bitter sting of persecution and marginalization early in our history, when we were too few in numbers to adequately protect ourselves and when society’s leaders often seemed disinclined to help. Our parents, young adults, teens and children should therefore, of all people, be especially sensitive to the vulnerable in society and be willing to speak out against bullying or intimidation whenever it occurs, including unkindness toward those who are attracted to others of the same sex. This is particularly so in our own Latter-day Saint congregations. Each Latter-day Saint family and individual should carefully consider whether their attitudes and actions toward others properly reflect Jesus Christ’s second great commandment - to love one another.

I know the majority of the people reading this are LDS. I hope I didn't offend anyone. I just hope that we can be a little more open-minded as a group. It doesn't mean we have to accept gay marriage or even homosexuality if we don't want to. But we can treat people better. I have a feeling that the longer people fight for gay rights, the more our church will be in the media. Why don't we help the image people have of us and be the Christ-like people we claim to be? I know we're taking a lot of heat for this and it's difficult to stand up for our beliefs when the media tears us down for it. But the least we can do is show the respect we would like to recieve.

And for my friends who are gay, bi, straight, whatever: You know I'm here and I love you for you.

Here's a link to the rest of the Church's statement today:

http://beta-newsroom.lds.org/article/church-mormon-responds-to-human-rights-campaign-petition-same-sex-attraction