"...No need to lobby for rights"

A fair warning: this blog will not be spiritual or pleasant.

It's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day! A time to honor the man who made it his life mission to secure equal rights for all Americans. A time to remember the sacrifices so many people endured so we could live in a society where people shouldn't be judged by the color of their skin, their gender, or who they want to marry. A time to reflect on the privileges Americans have in this country to speak up if they don't agree with something, and lobby to make it better.

But there's one group, my friends, who is being told to NOT lobby for their rights.

I'm talking about the women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, specifically the impressionable Young Women ages 12-18.

Consider this quote from Elaine S. Dalton, General Young Women's President, given just a few days ago at a BYU devotional:

"Young women you will be the ones who will provide the example of virtuous womanhood and motherhood. You will continue to be virtuous lovely praiseworthy and of good report. You will also be the ones to provide an example of family life in a time when families are under attack, being redefined and disintegrating. You will understand your roles and your responsibilities and thus will see no need to lobby for rights."
Elaine S. Dalton, YW General President, January 15, 2013.

http://byutv.org/watch/de1638f4-c3d1-48ec-8999-cc8face48ab7/byu-devotional-address-elaine-s-dalton-11513
At approximately the 32:28 mark

I can already hear the argument that perhaps this is just Sister Dalton's opinion, and doesn't represent the Church's stand.

But remember, this is the woman who is the head of the entire Young Women's program. And now, she's telling those girls to accept things as they are and keep quiet about it. The speech was given a week ago. If the Church disagreed with it, wouldn't they have said something by now?

Recently, there have been two social movements in the Church. One, Wear Pants To Church Day. This was an opportunity for women and girls to show support to those who have felt demeaned at church because of gender, simply by wearing pants.

The other is ongoing: an effort to finally have a woman pray in General Conference this year. It's never been done before. It may not sound like a big deal, but to the thousands of people signing the petitions, it is.

Fun fact: did you know women were banned from saying the opening or closing prayer in Sacrament meeting in 1967? The ban stayed in place until 1978, when the Brethren admitted there wasn't a scriptural reason for it in the first place.

Anyway, so these two big movements are getting a lot of attention, both from church members, and the media. Is it just a coincidence Sister Dalton told this audience there was no need to lobby for rights? I don't think so.

This speech has inspired a lot of LDS feminist response. I'm glad I'm not the only one shocked by this. The first link is an open letter I was touched by. The second, a moving essay about one of MANY LDS women who have lobbied for rights.

http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/2013/01/dear-sister-dalton/

http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/2013/01/keep-busy-in-the-face-of-discouragement/

I will close with just a few more thoughts:

This blog is in no way attacking anyone who chooses to live the life prescribed by Sister Dalton. Having a strong and faithful family is great! And if a woman chooses to stay home to strengthen her family, more power to her. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm not against stay-at-home moms. I'm against the theory that all women must live this life because they are women.

Women have a long history of lobbying for rights. We've come so far. Now, we see a movement where women recognize they aren't being treated equally in the church. Obviously this isn't every woman. I've been told by numerous friends they feel just fine in the church, and that's good for them.

But at some point, we have to recognize there are enough frustrated women in the church, that two big movements were started within a few months of each other recently. We have to recognize our sisters are hurt, and find the problems behind it, instead of telling them there is nothing to worry about. Instead of getting so defensive of the church, we have to remember it ISN'T perfect. All one has to to is look at the very inconsistent history to figure that out. There are problems that need to be addressed, not ignored.

I'm sure I'm frustrating a lot of people with these blogs and thoughts. Thank you to those who continue to read and support me. This journey has not been easy. But if I could get one person to really think about, and talk about these issues, it will be worth it. I've had a lot of meaningful conversations with both women and men about how upset they are about this kind of stuff, but feel like their opinions aren't listened to.

I've also listened to members who really don't see the issues at all and don't feel like it is a problem. For those who I've been able to have a good conversation with that didn't turn into an attack, thank you. I recognize the church has done a lot of good for a lot of people. It can be hurtful to see someone angry at it. I've been on that side of the fence, I know.

I've had some people ask why I don't just leave. Clearly, I don't like the doctrine, the rules, or the culture. For personal reasons I don't want to get into on this blog, I'm kind of stuck where I'm at. It's incredibly frustrating to me at times, and it only gets worse when I see stuff like Sister Dalton's speech.

The only way I know to live my life now is by not lying to myself and others. I'm not going to pretend to be super LDS around some people because I'm afraid they'll shun me if I'm not. I'm just going to be the person I want to be, which is a strong, open-minded woman who isn't afraid to think outside the box. I just have to have faith at the end of the day, people still like me for ME, not because of my beliefs.

Born to be WIIIIILLLLLLDDD

That's the song I have stuck in my head as I write this post.

Judd and I spent a few days in Sunny San Diego this past December. I had free tickets to Disneyland I had to use up (perks of working in the media). But we needed to entertain ourselves for the other 3 days we were there. So we figured, why not the greatest zoo in America?

The San Diego Zoo! I haven't been since I was a kid, and Judd had never gone. I totally forgot how HUGE the place is. Seriously, it took us at least 20 minutes to find the first animals other than ducks. FAIL WHALE! But then we found my favorite zoo animal, the giraffe. I LOVE giraffes.

This was kind of cool. They have a program where they pair up dogs and cheetahs together. The dogs help keep the cheetahs calm. If I ever need a Plan B career path, I'm gonna be a zoo keeper.

It's not the San Diego Zoo without the Pandas! I remember as a kid, it took more than an hour to see them, thanks to a ridiculous line. Here, we got right in, although it was still a little crowded. We were given all of three minutes to admire their majesty, then had to move along. Still worth it. Doesn't that little guy look like he needs a hug?

Speaking of bears who needs hugs, I think this Grizzly is adorable. Probably wouldn't think the same thing if I ran into him in the wild though.

Judd loved the gorillas. There was a father and his two sons here.

This was easily our favorite exhibit. Otters AND monkeys in one enclosure! Unfortunately, I couldn't get monkeys and otters in the same picture, but whoever thought to combine the two is GENIUS. We were so entertained, we must have stayed here at least 20 minutes.

And of course, the San Diego Zoo has the best mode of transportation EVER. I love this sky ride. You can ride it as much as you like, and see the whole zoo from the air.

This zoo visit, combined with my recent discovery of how awesome Pinterest is, inspired me to give our living room an African makeover. I had to wait until Christmas was over to start on it, but it's coming along! I've been wanting some kind of scheme for that room for awhile now, because it was sort of blah. But now, my little wild animal accents are really bringing some character to it!

Just a Merry Lil' Christmas

As much as I'm DYING for the summer to get here (my favorite time of the year), it's always a little sad to say goodbye to the Christmas Season. So here's to a blast from the recent past!

Ben's girlfriend Krystal introduced our family to the joys of Gingerbread House making. But did you know there's ginger bread houses, then there's CHOCOLATE houses? Krystal and I both bought the same kit, without realizing that they weren't actual ginger bread houses. You actually have to melt the chocolate down, freeze it in the molds, then put it together!

Ben and Judd did the putting together portion of it.

Krystal and I were the supreme decorators!

If you know Judd, he HAS to Judd-a-fy his projects. So this house had lights in it!

And here's the final result! Ben said there was a rave going on inside. Those crazy gingerbread men! I gave the house some desert tortoises as a homage to our turtles. 

Alworth Family pic for Christmas Eve! Waaaaaay too much food, but still a lot of fun.

Because of course, you can't have Christmas Eve at the Alworth house without this guy...

Or this guy. "Christmas Vacation" is as much as a holiday staple in my family as cookies and carols.

Looks like Santa decided to stop by our house and give Judd something pretty for his trailer! By the way, check out the awesome "yule log" my station played all morning long, instead of having us come in to do a morning show. Thanks FOX5!

I could be wrong, but I bet the camera would work a little better if I took the Lens Cap off!

Who says these dogs deserve Christmas cookies? They were bad all year 'round!

We then went over to the Kidman house for Christmas morning fun. Of course, all those pictures are still on my new camera, which I'm still figuring out how to use. Definitely NOT a point and shoot!

But we did go see this movie, which I've only been waiting about half my life to come out. (Not exaggerating. If you know me, you know I'm OBSESSED with everything Les Miz).

It featured amazing, tear-inducing performances by these two incredible actors:

 And a stunning performance by Samantha Barks (here's how nerdy I am about this show: I loved her so much as Eponine while she was in the London cast, then in the 25th anniversary special. SO talented!)

And who is this hottie playing my favorite character (besides Eponine), Enjoras?!?!? I must learn more!