Husband-Free Week

This is my least favorite week of the year.

Some women might be thrilled to be husband free for a week. But whether I still think I'm a newlywed, or I just really like hanging out with Judd, I seriously dread this week every year. It's so silly that i get so upset since it is just one week. I have friends who have to do this for weeks, months, or even longer at a time. I admire those girls, they are so strong!

I suppose I should be happy for Judd, since he gets to go do what he loves and ride dirt bikes in Moab. It's great he gets that break. I on the other hand, turn into an emotional wimp that can't stand being by herself.

Do you ever feel sometimes like a certain version of you at a certain age comes out really strong sometimes? I'm especially emotionally wimpy this week, because my stupid 19 year old self was antsy about a certain wedding that occurred that at one time she thought would be hers. It's dumb, really. I made a choice four years ago to move on from what was a intense, but turbulent relationship. I love Judd with everything I have, and I know I made the best and right choice. But this past weekend, my 19 year old self made a few trips down memory lane, perhaps to remind herself that while what she had is long over, it was real, and taught her valuable lessons. I believe every relationship, whether romantic or platonic, exists to shape you into the person you currently are and... And the one you are striving to be. There's a really cheesy country song about that (actually, there's probably a few of those!) about being thankful for unanswered prayers, since you never know what more amazing thing could be in store for you. I know the life I would have had, compared to the one I have now, would have been completely different...and probably not in a good way. Judd's amazing.

So this week, I decided to not focus too much on the past, even if it was shoved in my face. I made sure to surround myself with awesome people. Going out almost every night was just what the doctors ordered. God has placed some incredible friends in my life.

Thankfully, I only have to be husband-less for only a few more hours! I really miss that guy. Despite the awesomeness of everything going on this week (new jobs, new home, sweet tax return that allowed me to indulge in a bit of pity shopping), it has dragged ridiculously slow without someone to share it with.