Answers to that awkward question...

"When are you having kids?"

This question comes in two forms. The first form, I don't mind. "When are you having kids" is a genuine curiosity, much like "Where are you from" or "Where do you work?". The reason I don't mind this version is because when I give the typical "after we graduate," people usually respond positively and tell us we're smart to wait. The joking variety of this is okay too, I can laugh it off.

The second form drives me nuts. "When are you having kids" can really be interpreted as "Why haven't you had kids yet?" This version is asked by those who are concerned for the welfare of your soul, because obviously if you don't have kids at this very moment, you're not on par with "The Plan" (LDS lingo, but I'm sure other religions have something along the lines of it). Or they're just nosy and judgmental elderly Relief Society ladies.

This version also bothers me because it is insensitive to those who may be struggling with infertility issues. There are actually people out there who believe the parents must be sinners if they don't have children, and considering there is a large amount of people who really cannot have children, this is a rude way of thinking and not Christ-like at all.

The longer Judd is and I remain childless, the more often I hear this question. And after talking to many friends, both married, engaged, LDS, non-LDS, I've decided it's a nagging epidemic. It's even an issue for my friends who have at least one kid, people are so anxious for them to have more! So I decided to write this blog to provide some clever responses for my friends and for myself!

So..."When are you having kids?" (the naggy, you're an awful person for not having kids at the moment version)

~"What is your Social Security number?" This can be substituted with "Are you happy with your marriage" or "How much do you weigh," any super personal response question works. Thanks Mr. Geiger for that little gem!

~"Obviously we're not doing something right, can you give us some tips or suggestions?" Awkward, but this one came from my dad, who apparently actually used this all the time before I came around.

~"We're practicing." Everyone's heard that one, but I would love to actually see it used.

~"I'm really busy raising a puppy, three sugar gliders, and two turtles. They're like my practice children." I actually do use this either jokingly with friends or when my school excuse doesn't fly over for those who don't value the education of women.

Alright, so before my mom friends get upset and tell me that children are the greatest blessing and that I'm a rotten person for even posting this, I'll throw in this disclaimer: I do really want kids someday. Really, I do. But I made a promise to myself years ago that I MUST finish school. I was even hesitant to get married before I graduated (but Judd was too cute and I wouldn't do it any other way!). So my philosophy says that now that I'm almost there, I would like just a small amount of time to use that very expensive piece of paper for what it's worth. I would like to support Judd in finishing school the way he supported me.

Obviously, if a baby comes along before that, GREAT! I can't wait to have little Judds and Kristens! I'm not anti-kid by any means. I know it's worked out for people who didn't "wait", and it has worked out for people who did. I would never judge anyone who wanted to be a parent first, that is so unselfish and really honorable. When it comes down to it, it's really a personal decision between you, your spouse, and God.

So when are we having kids?

When we know the time is right!