Dog Park Nazis

This is dedicated to the Other Kristin (note the "i" instead of an "e") who requested I write this blog

Lately, whenever I take Bindi to the dog park, I've noticed that there are several people that I lovingly have labeled "Dog Park Nazis". They are generally older people who tend to have little nippy dogs. I always used to wonder why they even came to the dog park, because their nippy little dogs just sit on the table with them instead of running and playing like dogs should at the park. But I have now determined that they are there solely to judge other people and their dogs and they live off the good feelings they get when they feel superior to others.

For example:

~If a dog does its business, they will immediately bring it to the owner's attention over and over and over again until the owner goes and takes care of it. I watched this happen to a family who was in the middle of their picnic and for obvious reasons, weren't rushing to pick up after their dog. Come on, they were eating. But the DPN continued to cackle about it until these people relented, which brings me too...

~...food. Apparently bringing food into the dog park is like the ultimate sin, next to not immediately cleaning up after Fido. Judd and I have brought pizza in there before, which I have heard is "the stupidest thing ever." I know it's not the smartest thing to do either, but a polite "I'm concerned that my dog might eat your food, do you mind eating it outside and then coming in" would be more appreciated.

~DPNs all want to know how you got your dog, and it will be one of the first questions they ask you. 10 points if you rescued it from a shelter, with another extra 3 points if you drop in a side note that your dog was "abused" by its former owners. 5 points if you bought it from a breeder, but 0 points if they sense that it was a "backyard breeder". -100 points if you admit you bought it from a pet store, and after getting a lengthy lecture about the horrors of puppy mills, you will be snubbed to the opposite side of the field.

~Next to your dog's origins, DPNs want to ensure that your dog is healthy and well-taken care of. I let it slip that Bindi got into brownies a few weeks ago, and the lectures I received on the dangers of chocolate made me wonder if they weren't already secretly dialing Animal Control under the table. I was a veterinary assistant for three years, so I could easily tell them off for how overweight the little nippy dogs are and all the fun health problems you get with that...but I'm nice.

~You may think you are at the dog park to socialize your dog, you know, with other dogs and people, but according to DPN, you are there to bond with your dog while trash-talking those pet store buying, non-organic feeding losers in the corner with the designer Malti-poo. Eating McDonalds. I actually got told off for not playing with Bindi once. I scanned the park, expecting to see a bored Border Collie (crazy, I know) by the lady's tone of voice. Instead, I see my pup happily catching a toy that a nice older gentleman was tossing to her. But since I wasn't the one tossing it, I was a bad owner.

~What else makes you a bad owner? Having a badly behaved dog, or at least one in the eyes of DPNs. Now with this, I can agree sometimes. People with overly aggressive dogs shouldn't be at the park, especially when the dog is trying to rip my dog's head off. But when the dog's only crime at that point is jumping at, not on, but at someone, an angry yelling of "YOUR DOG HAS BAD MANNERS" isn't necessary. Especially when the culprit is a happy puppy who just barely entered the park. I take great pride in all the training that has gone into my dog, both professionally and through Judd and myself. But we know she is an excitable puppy who makes mistakes. It is our responsibility to discipline her though, not a DPN.

And really, it's the dog park. Dogs are there to have fun. We're there to have fun and watch our dogs play. No need to be rude.